Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Wolf Pack Summer Drinking Game

As I mentioned in a previous entry, summertime in northern Nevada is a fine season in its own right that suffers from the lone drawback of having no college football. And with the 2010 season still fresh in our minds, the Mountain West move a whole fourteen months away and actual bad news still coming in on all fronts for the University, this summer will be especially brutal for die-hards. How can we pass the time in a way that both plays to our strengths as fans and still allows us to enjoy the summer?

Well, let me ask you another question: what's the one thing Renoites do better than anyone else? I mean, besides "not show up to games" and "complain about how much better something could be without actually working to improve it in any way"? Drinking!

Yes, good old alcohol consumption. It loosens your inhibitions, levels the playing field for ugly women, and makes you feel invincible and all-powerful when your sober friends can attest to the opposite being true. And what better twist is there on this pastime than the drinking game? From Beirut to "The Big Lebowski," there's no shortage of ways to attach unique conditions to the objective of getting plotzed as quickly as possible. So why not take all the cliches and tropes we Pack fans will be repeatedly hearing for the next four months and at least bring our good friend alcohol in to the equation?*

*It goes without saying that drinking should never ever involve driving. Lord knows if you actually adhered to these drinking game rules you'd probably be dead of alcohol poisoning within a week, anyway. So please don't take this as anything other than satire and good-natured fun. Be responsible, don't be stupid and all that goodness.

Take one sip whenever...

~ Someone writes off this year's team with something to the effect of "Well, Kaep and Taua are gone, so they're probably gonna suck now." - Get ready for a LOT of this in the coming months. It's not that they aren't going to be tough to replace, because they are. It's saying stuff like this with a complete disregard for all of the other people that helped make the team successful that irks me. Not to mention the total indifference it shows towards what should be a very solid defense. They won't be the same group they were before, of course, but an entire team dependent upon the efforts of two guys? Please. And on one of those last notes...

~ Someone comments on how good the defense will be this year - The novelty of having a defense that doesn't suck pavement and actually helps the team win games has not worn off. I feel this is worth drinking to.

~ A fan of another WAC team wishes bad things on Nevada for their Mountain West invitation - Whether it stems from "the Project" not going through or just plain old jealousy, Nevada won't be very popular for the next year. But regardless of the circumstances surrounding them, Nevada, Fresno State and Hawai'i all earned their invitations through the hard work and perseverance of their student-athletes and coaches. They've all had varying degrees of above average success in football of late, and they all bring other very strong programs and assets to the table. Before you tear others down, look at how you can build yourself up.

~ A Boise State fan uses the actions of one jackwagon caught on camera to justify painting our entire fan base, city and state in a negative light - Yeah, you knew this was coming. Apparently some BSU fans weren't treated well in the time immediately following last year's game, and their fans will invariably use this picture as evidence of what mean, nasty and generally despicable human beings we all are. What they won't do, however, is mention that bad behavior went both ways that night, like with the players who ran straight through the Senior Day families before kick-off, or any number of the Bronco fans in the stands who made general fools of themselves during the game, or the players who taunted the home crowd at various points, and the list goes on. The reason we heard stories about OUR fans is because Boise State lost, and if the roles had been reversed (keeping in mind just how close that was to happening) I doubt our fans would've made the same fuss. Douchebaggery and violence aren't condoned by anyone with an ounce of common sense, but it has to apply to everyone everywhere and not just the human rubbish like that guy in the picture. Also, please refer to this post if you question my motivations in all of this.

~ Nevada's fan support gets criticized - No righteously indignant rant here. I've criticized our fan support plenty of times in the past, including just a few paragraphs ago. This particular drinking game condition could become a vicious cycle for someone like me, so let's move on.

~ Someone mispronounces "Nevada" or misspells "Wolf Pack" - Because hell, this already occurs enough to justify a sip when it happens.

~ A Rebel fan refers to our teams as "UNR" instead of "Nevada" - This is something seemingly as old as the rivalry itself and will never change, but I'd be remiss if I didn't fit it in here somewhere.

Take two sips whenever...

~ Someone wonders out loud why Nevada jumped to the Mountain West so hastily given their current financial problems - Normally I'm capable of seeing two sides to every argument, but not in this case. How even the most casual fan can ask this as a serious question is astounding to me. Nevada's choice was to either make the move now or get left behind in the new WAC forever. Even after TCU's departure, this is still a very easy choice to make. The Mountain West has an actual future to look forward to. The WAC does not -- at least, not a relevant one. END. OF. ARGUMENT.

~ The RGJ is referred to as "the Urinal" - Juvenile? Yes. Crude? Absolutely. Still true a lot of the time? You bet.

~ You or someone else mispronounces Willie Faataualofa's name. - Big Willie rules and we doubt he'd come after anyone who accidentally said his name wrong. But why take that chance? The guy's big. Hence the nickname.

~ Cody Fajardo is referred to as "the quarterback of the future." - We all love Cody, and at this point in time this statement is probably true. But at least show Tanner Roderick a little respect before you fully commit yourself to the Fajardo Fan Club.

~ Yours Truly mentions how hard it is to find stuff to blog about in the summertime. - Hey, it's my drinking game!

Take three sips whenever...

~ Someone replays the video of Wolfie dancing off the top of the dugout. The guy in the costume wasn't hurt, so it's all good.

~ You actually see someone else adopt the Brett Roy style of wearing a jersey. - Seriously, what IS that?

~ Someone mentions the secondary's pass efficiency defense from last year. - This means one of two things: either you read this blog, or you regularly visit Congratulations are in order for both.

I'd like to see this turn into a yearly tradition, so let me know what other ideas you may have to help make this game even more impractical/needlessly complicated next year.

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