Colin Kaepernick mad lib
So here it is. Well we could have potentially made our's a lot worse. I was considering comissioning an artist to sketch something along the lines of Ault and Kaepernick carrying some bloody limbs or something. With that said, you can't help but grin at this little joke the boys over at OBNUG came up with. Good job guys and good luck with Fresno.
Instructions: Fill in each blank with an appropriate word. Then read the story from the beginning. Laugh as you feel led to laugh.
Colin Kaepernick, Nevada's (adjective)-legged runnerback, was having a long (period of time). The Boise State Broncos tackled him a lot. His teammates were very unhelpful. The local (fast food restaurant) stopped giving him freebies. "I just wish I could atone for my mistakes," Kaepernick said, to no one in particular.
Just then, a police car pulled up. Officer (humorous last name) got out and ran up to Kaepernick.
"Hello, son," he said (adverb), while munching on a (pastry). "Come with me. We need your help."
Kaepernick threw on his (article of clothing), zipped up his (item with a zipper), and pulled on his legwarmers. He climbed into the police car, and they drove off into the Nevada desert.
"Mind if we listen to (famous girl band/artist)?" Kaepernick asked.
About (number) minutes later, they arrived at the scene and stepped out of the car. Kaepernick immediately saw what had happened. It appeared that a (desert animal) was holding Nevada head coach Chris Ault and (famous movie actor) in its mouth, refusing to let go.
"Hey, (nickname for Colin Kaepernick)," Ault said. "I cannot feel my (body part). Is it still there? I'm sure glad you came."
"Me, too, coach. I wasn't invited to any (adjective) parties tonight, so I would have been kind of (adjective). Do you want to watch (movie) after this is over?"
"Sure. Mrs. Ault is making (meal). She's a (adjective) cook. You can come over to my place."
Kaepernick turned to the police officer for instructions on how to save his head coach and his second favorite actor besides (person in the cast of Friends or Gossip Girl). "That animal's a tough son of a (noun)," the police chief said. "He won't let us go within 12 feet of him. Colin, we're going to need you to throw (plural noun) at the animal to scare it back into the desert. Can you handle that?"
"(either 'yes' or 'no')," Kaepernick answered.
Kaepernick picked up the first object to throw. He checked for (weather), aimed (adverb), and chucked it toward the animal. It wobbled like a (water fowl) and sailed (multiple of 10) feet wide of everybody.
"I'll put more (body part) into it this time," Kaepernick said.He picked up a (noun) and hucked it in the direction of Coach Ault and the movie star. This time, Kaepernick's throw was more (adjective), but instead of hitting the animal, it hit the movie star square in the (body part), knocking him unconscious.
"Colin," the police officer said. "This is your last shot. If you can't scare the animal away with this one, Coach Ault and the movie star could be done for."
"So it's kind of like the final drive against Boise State," Kaepernick replied. "I got this. Does anyone have any (beverage)? I'm parched."
Kaepernick took a swig of the drink then picked up the last remaining (noun) to throw at the animal. Kaepernick cocked his arm back, said a quick (lyrics to a song), and hurled it with all his might toward the animal. It overshot everything by a good ten yards, landing next to a (desert flora).
"Bummer," the police officer said.
"Sorry, coach," Kaepernick said.
"Great," Ault responded. "This animal's going to eat me like a (fast food sandwich). Oh well. I had a good run. I almost beat Boise State that one time."
"Coach, did you say 'run'?" Kaepernick asked. The (euphemism for thoughts) began turning in Kaepernick's head as he (adverb) thought up a plan to rescue his coach and the movie star. Then it hit him. When in doubt, run the (Nevada's only offensive play that ever works).
"Where are you going?" the police chief asked as Kaepernick approached the animal and its captives.
"I'm saving my (colloquial group of people)," Kaepernick replied.
As Kaepernick approached the animal, it let go of Coach Ault and the movie star and (verb denoting movement) toward Kaepernick. With a quick juke to the (direction), Kaepernick dodged the animal's bite and took off sprinting toward (U.S. city). The animal took off after him.
"I'm alive!" Coach Ault yelled. "Guess I'll have to (adverb) gameplan against (Derek Dooley's team) now. But I'll need Kaepernick if I want to avoid pulling a (Pat Hill's team)."
"No problem," the police officer said. "I know a guy."
The officer pulled a (color) phone from his pocket, dialed a secret number, and Boise State's (redshirt freshman phenom quarterback) appeared out of nowhere.
"This better be important," Moore said. "I was (something heroic)."
"Can you throw this (noun) and hit the animal that is chasing Colin Kaepernick about five (large unit of measure) away?" the police chief asked.
Moore picked up the object and casually tossed it in the direction of Kaepernick and the animal, striking the animal square on the (body part).
"Can I go now?" Moore asked.
Would you like to stay with me, watch reruns of (TV show) at my place, and play against LaTech on Saturday?" Chris Ault asked.
"No," Moore said.
"Then yes, you can go," Ault responded. "And thank you, Kellen Moore. You are the (position of power) of football and the (superlative of good) quarterback I have ever seen."
"Hey, what about me?" a winded Kaepernick asked.